Moving at Thirty-Five: Five Essential Survival Tips

Two years ago I made the decision to leave my country. I had two main reasons for this. Firstly, I wanted to be by the side of the person that I love and secondly, I wanted to offer my family a better future. Unlike Mexico,  the United Kingdom offers a better childhood care system. Moreover, my children have the safety to go out and play in the park – which alleviates my worries as a mother. 

Personally, I have also realised that the UK is more open-minded when it comes to job-hunting. If I’m looking for a job, I don’t necessarily need a university degree. What’s more, physical appearance does not play such a big role. It does not matter if you have tattoos, or piercings, or if you are over forty-five years old; if you have the skills and the required profile, you will find a job.

When I made the choice to leave my country, thousands of questions came to my mind, followed by fear: What would become of me? Was it right to leave my job? What if this was a mistake? I had belongings that had cost me several years of work and practically had to get rid of everything, often at half the price of what it had cost me. But I knew that in order to hold the hand of my love, who had been walking with me for three years, I had to travel as light as possible. 

For context, let me tell you about myself. I'm Mexican, I lived in Mexico City for thirty-five years. I studied Business Administration of Tourism, but life took me on a different path and I have more than nine years of experience in HR. I started working when I was seventeen, which taught me to be financially independent. Therefore, one of the first things about moving that took me out of my comfort zone was knowing that for the first time in my life, I would be  financially dependent on someone else. 

Today, two years and some months later, I do not regret emigrating from my Mexico. I felt that I had to move. Since finishing university, I had felt that I needed to put down roots in another place; I needed a push to take a bigger leap. Even though I am no longer in my twenties and I already had a property in Mexico, I decided to do it because I did not want to keep thinking “what if”.

When I arrived, I had many dreams in mind, dreams that I did not want to put aside because I had learned that you have to hold on to what you dream and desire because that is the only way to create opportunities for yourself. 

Here are a couple of tips that I wish someone had given to me before I moved abroad. They are not a magic formula, but they are suggestions that helped me and perhaps, they will help you too if you find yourself in a similar situation:

You come first

In my experience, the most important thing to be able to fulfil your dreams is to know yourself, love yourself deeply, and be your main priority. Sometimes, you might think this is selfish, but it’s not. Even if you have children, you should be your main priority because if you are not well, they won't be either. Knowing what you don't want in your life and knowing where you are in the present is essential. Being able to ask for support when you need it is also key. Make sure to have a support network you can trust. In my case, I am building one in the UK, but I also haven’t lost touch with the one in Mexico.

Learn to adapt

On some occasions, you will have to change the route or the priority of your goals. If there is something you want, do not leave it aside just because the first time it did not work out for you, but also learn to see when a venture leads to a dead end. In my case, I like to sing, however, no matter how many singing classes I take, I don't have the voice to do it. Therefore, instead of stressing myself out about pursuing a singing career, I have found a way to still enjoy singing even if it is just for myself.

Do not be afraid to change your career path. Perhaps moving is an opportunity to do what you always wanted. On the other hand, if you decide to continue with what you used to do, do not give up. Sometimes it is not easy to get the desired professional achievements in a job in a completely different culture, but that is not to say it is impossible.

Do your research 

If you know where you want to move, do your research. Are there any viable scholarships? How much is the cost of living? Do you need a visa? Are there any job opportunities which you can apply for? Give yourself a deadline to see if things work out, and have a Plan B (including financial reserves) in case you have to return to your country. 

Try to learn as much as you can about the country you are going to. A good idea is to look for Facebook groups (for example: Mexicans in the UK) where they can help you learn about British lifestyle and customs. However, be wise about how you handle the information they provide you. You will get thousands of opinions, so trust your gut feeling and give yourself the chance to classify useless information as ‘spam’. In my case, they even told me to stay in my country, and I’m glad I ignored them.

Travel as light as possible

It’s easier said than done, as it’s normal to become attached to material things. However, remember that most things can be easily replaced or bought here. Moreover, do give yourself a chance to bring symbolic things that remind you of home.

Enjoy the process

Enjoy every moment from the moment you made the decision until you make it a reality. In my case, I changed the path but not the dreams. It has been complicated, I won’t deny it, but I have learned to have patience, to give myself a break, to cry, to fall and get up again because that is what this life is about: living day-to-day to the fullest, savouring the good and bad. 

I hope that reading the article has helped you, either because you recently moved, you are thinking about it, you are in the process of it or, it is among your options one day. No matter your reason, it is valid to make that choice as long as you do it for yourself and you plan it properly. 

I wish you the best of luck!